Lyved in 2008 December 31, 2008

I recently found a great website called Lyved. I highly recommend checking it out. I decided against writing a “personal constitution”, but I did answer 75 questions. On the site it said there is an old proverb that goes “He that cannot ask cannot live”. So now, at the end of 2008, I am asking…

1. Why not me?

There are many things I do not deserve. I try not to dwell on those things and concentrate on being thankful for all the blessings I do have.

2. Am I nice?

I like to think I am. I know it seems cliché but I really try to treat everyone the same way I would want to be treated.
3. Am I doing what I really want to do?
Starting a life in a different country? Yes. Teaching English to kindergarteners? No.
4. What am I grateful for?
I am grateful for so much, but I will try to keep it short. I am grateful for the Lord, my family, my friends, Murat, my faith, and my health.
5. What’s missing in my life?
I have all the people I love and care about in my life, so just a puppy .
6. Am I honest?
I try to always be honest with others, even though I may hide the truth from myself sometimes.
7. Do I listen to others?
I listen to others more often than not. However, I have been guilty of not paying attention sometimes, and getting so excited about saying something myself that I interrupt the other speaker (oh so bad of me).
8. Do I work hard?
I work hard in and out of work, but sometimes feel taken for granted. I do not need to be recognized for my work, but when I need a break a need a break with out being hassled about it. Working half the day in two separate classes, I feel like my partners sometimes only think I work half as hard as they do.
9. Do I help others?
Yes. I love helping out. I should help out more often but have to find a good balance between helping others and myself.
10. What do I need to change about myself?
I am a top-notch procrastinator. I really need to allocate my time better so I am not racing to finish at the end of the day.
11. Have I hurt others?
Yes, but I am not intentionally cruel. Most times I have hurt people it was because I wasn’t thinking. I am definitely guilty of that.
12. Do I complain?
I complain a lot when I am sick, but not so much the rest of the time (unless it has to do with my school/work ).
13. What’s next for me?
In store for me next is more learning (about everything), more praying (about my future), more travel, and more following my heart.
14. Do I have fun?
95% of the time I am having a blast!
15. Have I seized opportunities?
Yes, but I should seize them more often.
16. Do I care about others?
Absolutely!
17. Do I spend enough time with my family?
Since I live thousands of miles away, no. If I still lived in the US it would be a different story.
18. Am I open-minded?
As a Christian living in a Muslim country I kind of have to be open-minded. I like to believe I am open-minded about everything, but I have very strong opinions.
19. Have I seen enough of the world?
Never!
20. Do I judge others?
I hate being judged, so I try to not judge others.
21. Do I take risks?
Yes, some of my best experiences and things have come from them.
22. What is my purpose?
I wish this question was more specific. I could write a whole book speculating about this, but in the end how will I know for sure. Only one being knows and He has yet to fully disclose this information to me. I will let you all know when He does .
23. What is my biggest fear?
Fear of the unknown is my biggest fear (followed by clowns and spiders).
24. How can I conquer that fear?
I conquer that fear a little everyday I get up and go outside. I try to be nice to the clowns at my student’s birthday parties. I let the lone daddy-long-legs live peacefully behind my bathroom sink.
25. Do I thank people enough?
I try to thank everyone. I have so much to be thankful for! If I have ever forgotten, please let me thank you now because even if I did not say it at the time I always appreciate the things people do for me.
26. Am I successful?
I am on my way. I have a faith that grows stronger everyday, a wonderful family, good friends (make that great), an amazing boyfriend, nice apartment, and a job (just not the job I want to do forever).
27. What am I ashamed of?
I often spend money on things I do not need and then feel strapped right before I get paid again. If I could just say no to things more often I would be much happier and less stressed. I have gotten better but still have a long way to go.
28. Do I annoy others?
I am sure there are those out there who are annoyed by me. All I can say is…oh well. I never force people to be around me.
29. What are my dreams?
My dreams are to make enough money to live with out worrying about it all the time, to travel the world, and to live happily, loyally, faithfully, and peacefully.
30. Am I positive?
I am a positive person if that’s what this question means. My glass is half full and often runs over the top.
31. Am I negative?
Only about the company I work for. There is really not much to feel positive about where they are concerned.
32. Is there an afterlife?
Absolutely.
33. Does everything happen for a reason?
I am not sure, but I believe that if certain things in my life had not happened I would never be where I am today or who I am today.
34. What can I do to change the world?
I am not sure, but to start I should get it out of my head that I am only one small person and can not do big things. Many of the biggest voices of change belonged to only one person.
35. What is the most foolish thing I’ve ever done?
Smoked for a decade on and off. How much more foolish a thing can you think of???
36. Am I cheap?
No. I have been told I have expensive taste, but I just say I like to buy quality

37. Am I greedy?
Only when it comes to books and my sleeping time!!!
38. Who do I love?
I love everyone I know to varying degrees. It may sound unbelievable, but it is so true.
39. Who do I want to meet?
Interesting people.
40. Where do I want to go?
Everywhere! I am totally serious.
41. What am I most proud of?
My family, boyfriend, and friends make me so proud. They are all amazing people who I believe can achieve whatever they set their hearts on (I have seen it over and over again).
42. Do I care what others think about me?
I guess so. I would like to say I do not, but I have to be honest. I do not stress about it though.
43. What are my talents?
My mom would say singing and writing. Kezban says I am artistic (at least more than she is . I like to think I have talent in aromatherapy and photography. I am not sure what others say I am talented doing.

44. Do I utilize those talents?
Singing-no, writing- just my blog these days, art- with my kids and decorations, aromatherapy- yes, and photography- needs work.
45. What makes me happy?
Knowledge, truth, and the people I love.
46. What makes me sad?
Ignorance, lies, and death.
47. What makes me angry?
Ignorance, lies, and traffic.
48. Am I satisfied with my appearance?

Yes.
49. Am I healthy?
I could eat much healthier, but I am far better here than in the US.
50. What was the toughest time in my life?
My first year of college.
51. What was the easiest time in my life?
Everything before that.
52. Am I selfish?
With my time.
53. What was the craziest thing I did?
Pierce my tongue and smoke cigarettes on and off for years. I no longer have/do either.
54. What is the craziest thing I want to do?
Travel the world!
55. Do I procrastinate?
Yes (commented on it earlier).
56. What is my greatest regret?

I have done many things I am not proud of, but when I think regret, I think of something I wish I had never done. Even taking back on of those events would change the person I am today, and I would never want that. I have no regrets.
57. What has had the greatest impact on my life?
Becoming a true Christian.
58. Who has had the greatest impact on my life?
The Lord.
59. Do I stand up for myself?
Yes.
60. Have I settled for mediocrity?
Sometimes, but not often.
61. Do I hold grudges?
No. I forgive people way before I usually let them know they have been forgiven.
62. Do I read enough?
Some say I read to much, but I do not think it is possible to read too much.
63. Do I listen to my heart?
Yes.
64. Do I donate enough to the less fortunate?

Not at all.
65. Do I pray only when I want something?
No. I pray more about what I am thankful for these days.
66. Do I constantly dwell on the past?
Nope, but it comes up sometimes.
67. Do I let other people’s negativity affect me?
I try not to, but with some people it is hard to ignore.
68. Do I forgive myself?
For almost everything…
69. When I help someone do I think “What’s in it for me”?
No.
70. Am I aware that someone always has it worse than me?
Without a doubt.
71. Do I smile more than I frown?
Way more!
72. Do I surround myself with good people?
The best.
73. Do I take time out for myself?
Whenever I can.
74. Do I ask enough questions?
I thought so, but after all of these I guess I missed a few .
75. What other questions do I have?
Can I have more time to think about this one?

Have a very Happy New Year! May you all be blessed with peace, love, joy, money, and understanding in 2009. Thank you all for taking part in my life.

Never Let Me Go December 30, 2008

I finished my last book of 2008 a couple days ago. Kazuo Ishiguro’s Never Let Me Go was a fabulous book. Disturbing but fabulous. For about the first 100 pages the narrator talks of her childhood, and of some truth that she and her friends seemed to be right on the verge of understanding at that time. The writing mirrored this by making me feel like I too was on the verge of understanding what was going on, but could not put my finger on it. After finally being clued in on what was going on, I joined the narrator as she finishes reminiscing about her idyllic school days and becomes an adult. Her adult life is spent caring for her two best friends, the loves of her life. You watch as she just accepts the status quo and goes along with what is expected of her, a dutiful “servant”.

This is the only part I had a problem with. Not because of the writing or storytelling, but because I like to put myself in a character’s shoes. I realize that she was never taught to question her destiny, or that there was any other option available for her. I just can not believe any person could deny one of the basest human instincts. I know I would have done everything in my power to change, at the very least, my destiny. I would have become unwanted so to say. On the whole it was a beautifully written and well thought out story. I hope I was cryptic enough to have intrigued you to read the book. I would love to hear your thoughts and comments if and when you read it.

Up Next…you will have to check back in 2009 for the first book of my 52 in 52 Challenge. It will be a fun one and a super-duper easy one. I have not read it since I was a kid (like the 6th grade) but I really have a craving to read it. It will be the only one of its kind, but I must!

28 on the 28th December 30, 2008

I just had another birthday. Happens every year around this time. I am not the kind of person who gets all excited about it, but I do not loathe birthdays either. I received phone calls from my family and many messages on facebook. I am so blessed to have all of you as my friends and family. You make me feel warm and fuzzy in spite of the zero degree temp outside *brrrrrr*.

My birthday celebration began the night before when Mehmet, Suna, Kadir, Ugur, Bekir, and Murat met (my) Murat and I at a new place in Tünel called 23. It is actually part owned by Murat’s boss and is a very enjoyable place to go out with friends. Good music, not too loud or crowded, and nice atmosphere. I just wish Turkey would hurry the #*^! up and ban smoking inside everywhere (now it is just banned in government buildings and on the ferries). That is one fabulous thing about America, you do not have to inhale someones smoke when you go out on the town. I was given a beautiful new purse/bag as a gift that is made from 100% yak wool (I will post a pic soon). It is my new favorite fashion accessory.

On the actual day of my birthday Murat got off work early. He said he was taking me somewhere special for a surprise dinner. I was so excited when we arrived at TGI Fridays! Ahhh a little piece of home. Two years without broccoli cheese soup is too long. We both got steaks and proceeded to stuff ourselves. Afterwards we went to Kahve Dünyası (Coffee World) for some cheesecake and hot chocolate (with their signature chocolate spoons!). Murat gave me a beautiful delicate butterfly necklace. It is so precious and I love it. He also got me a few games for my Nintendo DS my sister gave me . I am not quite finished with Zelda, but next up shall be Assassin’s Creed. My DS is so cool and I am not even a video game nut! Overall I would have to rate this as one of the top 3 best birthdays ever. It could only have been better if my family and friends flew over for it.

Tomorrow is New Years Eve and I will be spending it in Bakırköy with Murat’s family. I have the 1st off of work so it will be a great time to get started on my 52 books!

Murat and I at 23

Christmas in Turkey: the sequel December 26, 2008

This is my second Christmas in Turkey. Starting in November I start to get a little sad that I am here during the holiday season. I love all my friends and “Turkish” family here, but there is just something that always feels a little off. I used to take it for granted that Christmas was just everywhere in the US. You could not turn on a radio without Jingle Bell Rock or Silent Night playing, and every store was decorated to the hilt. I have always loved this, but I remember many a “Scrooge” saying how they hated all this music and this-n-that about the season. They should really just move to a Muslim country and give it a try. I am sure that 90% of the bah-hum-bugs out there would be singing a different tune come Christmas day. Malls put up generic decos, but that is it! When most Turks ask what you are doing for Christmas, they actually mean New Years (same thing to them). When you wish them a Merry Christmas you get a somewhat puzzled look like, gee…aren’t you a little early? I guess what I am trying to say is that you don’t miss it until it is gone. Cherish the season because you could be somewhere that does not have it.

I must admit that last year was much harder though. I had my crazy cat, so that ruled out a Christmas tree. This year I do not have my crazy cat anymore, so I decided to get a tree. Last year I had no Christmas movies or any way to listen to Christmas music (computer speakers being broken and all). This year my computer is working, and I downloaded all the classics (It’s a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, Frosty, Rudolph,etc…). The Opel’s were my saving grace last year and invited Murat and I to come to Christmas at their house. Murat had to work this year, but I was able to go to Avcilar to see the Opel’s new house and spend Christmas with them again!

After work on Wednesday I had a quick Turkish lesson, and then hustled over to the fast ferry to catch the only one that goes to Avcilar every evening. I arrived and was met by Kurt and Jonathan. We met up with Anna and David a t the Christmas eve party. I was fed turkey, mashed potatoes, salad, sweet potatoes, baklava, and pumpkin pie. Yummy! We hung out for a little bit while I talked FB football with a young fan who bordered on fanatic . The we went to their new apartment, which has the most amazing view of the Marmara I might add. The boys went to bed and Kurt, Anna, and I played Santa. We knew we would not get to sleep in the next day so we hit the sack as well.

Sure enough at 6:30-ish I was woken up by two excited boys (and a giant stuffed dolphin:). Presents were opened and we had a delicious breakfast. We relaxed for a bit, and then I was asked to read the Polar Express before we watched it. I had never seen it and enjoyed it very much. We had a mouthwatering pot roast for an early dinner, and then watched another film called the Ultimate Gift. What a wonderful film! I recommend it to everyone!!! Then we had birthday cake for Jesus’ birthday, and Kurt walked me to the bus station. It was a lovely time and I could not ask for better friends than the Opel’s. After a short ride I came to Bakirkoy to meet Murat, Mehmet, and Kadir. We went to the mall and had Chinese food before going home and watch It’s a Wonderful Life. I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas too!

Opel’s Christmas tree

Me and Anna

David, Jonathan, and I with their gift from me :)

Kurt helping put together the Clone Wars AT-TE thingy

Mid-day view

Sunset view, just breathtaking…

the heavens

wow

Me and two fake Santa’s at the mall ;)

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Ravelry and the 52 Books Challenge December 22, 2008

As many of you may or may not know, I knit. I have been knitting for about three years now, but have yet to try anything more difficult than a scarf. I have used many different types of yarn and attempted lots of scarf variations. I have decided to graduate to shawls and hats now.

A friend recently told me about Ravelry, an online community for knitters, crocheters, and other crafty folks. After about four days waiting for my invitation I am officially a member! I already love the website and can not wait to start making some of the projects in my queue. I found two groups for knitters in Turkey and Istanbul, and have some great ideas for where to buy my yarn. I also happened to spot a group called 52 Books in 52 Weeks. Of course my bookworm heart gave a cry of joy and I immediately joined. I already read non-stop, but this will be an exciting challenge for me.

My first book will be “Never Let Me Go” by Kazuo Ishiguro. It will actually be my warm-up read because I am reading it now . It will be my “unofficial” first I guess (53 books in 53 weeks). I will give you my opinions and musings as I read my 52 books (without giving too much away of course). If you would also like to take up the challenge let me know. You do not have to join Ravelry, but I would love to hear about your reading odyssey as well .

Benim Evim…My House December 21, 2008

I promised months ago to put up pictures of my current apartment. I have my lovely Christmas tree up, so I figured now was as good a time as any. A family came to look at my apartment today, and may buy it. I would of course live here until the end of my contract (July/August), but after that I may be asked to leave. That make me sad because I really love my apartment and would like to live here for another year, maybe longer. It is in a great location: 5 minute walk to Kadıköy central, ferry terminals, and a shopping mall, not to mention a bus stop at my doorstep. I have been thinking and praying about buying my home, but I have yet to find a possible way to do this. I can not take out a loan here or in the US (I have no job on paper), and I do not make enough money on my own. It would be a wonderful investment for the future due to the multi-billion dollar development plans they have for the area right across the street from me ( see the architect’s website ). Well… we will see, but in the meantime I hope you enjoy the tour!

Red square is my flat and the green is the development

My Christmas tree

More of my living room

My kitchen

Front door and hallway

My bathroom

My bed and wardrobe (on the left)

The patio and garden are out back

Storage/Second room

America Daze and Kurban Bayramı December 12, 2008

I am a little behind on my blogging (sorry…) but things have been a little hectic. This week was a holiday (I’ll get to that in a sec), but last week we celebrated America in school. We watched a slide show, decorated American flags, ate American food,  listened to oldies and country music, and dressed up like cowboys and cowgirls to ride horses. I think the highlight of the week was when I asked my class if they knew who the President of America was and they emphatically answered…ATATÜRK! Granted, the kids only learned who Atatürk was (the great founder of the Turkish Republic) a few weeks ago when we learned about Turkey. Since then they have decided that if we say anyone, or anything for that matter, is important he/it must be Atatürk. I think some Americans might be disappointed in the lack of excitement (not to mention confusion) I got when I explained that the new President was not Atatürk but Obama .

On Friday after school we began our holiday, Kurban Bayramı. Translated this means the Sacrifice holiday, which is not as appealing as the Sugar holiday, but just as important to Muslims. This is when they celebrate when God provided a sacrifice in place of Abraham sacrificing his own son.

On Monday evening Murat and I took a night bus down to Mersin, a city on the southern coast of Turkey. His father’s youngest sister (he has seven!:) was having her engagement party.  From the moment we arrived it was a whirlwind adventure. Murat’s father wanted to buy me a new outfit for the party and would not take no for an answer. It was incredibly sweet and generous, I was so humbled. Then I was taken to meet his grandmother, cousins, and the first aunt before getting my hair done. At the hair salon I met another aunt, Rezene, who was so cute and excited to meet me. Since I do not remember when I was very young, I can honestly say I have never been doted on, had my cheeks kissed and pinched, and been told how sweet and cute I am by so many people than in the two days I spent in Mersin. It was incredible! I finally met Figen, the bride-to-be, and we all got ready to leave. The party was held at patisserie and had live music and of course cake! There was wonderful singing, and we were serenaded at one point by an adorably off key five year old who sang a song I was not familiar with followed by a rendition of Kenan Doğulu’s Çakkıdı (a personal fav). There was also much dancing and I tried my best to dance with all the folks who seemed to have it in their genetics. It was a fun but late night, and we slept as soon as we got home.

The next day we had a family breakfast and then walked down by the sea with Murat’s cousins from Istanbul. It was beautiful and the air smelled so clean and healthy. We ended up at a lovely restaurant and stuffed our faces with Adana kebab, hummus, and salad. Then we walked all the way home so we could digest the food. When we arrived home the groom-to-be, Apo, and his family were there. We sat around in the family room and they sang songs with a borrowed guitar and we had a great time. I became fast friends with the little cousins, Figen-6 and Batin-3.  They were adorable and loved showing me the English they knew by blurting out the colors of everything they touched . We played together and it was nice to actually use my Turkish with kids. When Murat and I finally had to go I had to promise the little cousins I would be back or else they would not let me leave.  I have now met a very good portion of Murat’s family and I have found them to all be wonderful, gracious hosts, generous, fun, extremely friendly, and caring people. Murat and I had a long and uncomfortable ride back to Istanbul (a critique of bus companies in Turkey to soon follow…), but arrived safe and sound.

Me, Emirhan, Ela, & Arda

Me, Arda, Ada, & Ilke

Mersin and the Mediterranean

The fake ruins by the sea

Entrance to the culture park

All good things come to an end December 3, 2008

No, I am not talking about my fabulous blog. I am, however, talking about my aromatherapy course. I have been interested in aromatherapy since high school, and was excited to find an accessible way to pursue that interest while living here. I signed up for a course in August through the Australasian College of Health Sciences. It is a fully accredited college in Oregon, and offered a beginner course online. The school shipped me my books and oils and I was soon experimenting with them to concoct cleaning products, air fresheners, medicines, and perfumes. I even found a wonderful supplier of high quality oils here in Istanbul (which was a huge problem in the beginning). The course was very informative and there were many opportunities to interact with the other students and professor in the class. At the end of every module we had to take a test and submit a written project. My favorite assignment was to spend a whole day writing down all the aromas, good and bad, I encountered and how they made me feel. Here is the short paper I wrote:

Living in Istanbul is an experience for all the senses, but most of all for the nose. A casual walk through a particular neighborhood becomes an olfactory adventure. There can be dangerous traps and wonderful treasures depending on where your nose takes you.

On a recent Saturday, I woke up and enjoyed a shower using my favorite Lush products. It was a kaleidoscope of scents from ylang ylang and jasmine to lemon and fennel. I left my flat feeling wonderfully refreshed and awake.

As soon as I made it to the main street I was immediately hit by the overpowering stench of exhaust mixed with freshly laid asphalt. Not a welcome combination after a great morning, but not at all out of place in traffic clogged Istanbul. My nose was only assaulted briefly before the autumn wind whipped it away.

Not long after, I smelled the wonderful aroma of summer BBQ, and remembered I was hungry. Then came the sickeningly sweet middle note, and I realized it was kokoreç (sheep intestine grilled on a spit) and not my favorite 4^th of July franks.

Moving on down the street, I passed the juice seller, making a cup of fresh orange juice, I savored the sweet citrus aroma before it was replaced by the sweet and nutty scent of the chickpeas roasting next door.

I slowly made my way to the Marmara Sea, past the grilled fish sandwich sellers and ferries, to sit and enjoy the view. The sea air smelled salty and fresh amidst the other big city scents. That scent always reminds me of the summers I spent in Monterey and Bodega Bay (my favorite places in California). I continued on to the tea gardens to sit and read for a while, and enjoyed the aroma of cut grass that floated to me from somewhere nearby.

On my way home I walked by the many bakeries and patisseries that line Moda Avenue, and was rewarded with the scent of fresh baked breads, cakes, and börek. My mother and I made fresh bread often when I was a small child. That scent always takes be back to the kitchen and makes me feel so comfortable and warm.

I went to drop a friend off at the bus station in Üsküdar as the early evening call to prayer sounded. As I passed by an old mosque, the scent of rose water was in the cool evening air. A lovely reminder of the custom Muslims have of cleansing with it before prayer time.

As I settled down with my evening pot of tea, my “Turkish Delight”, I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. I was surrounded by vapors of black tea from Rize near the Black Sea, bergamot from the west coast of Turkey, and rose from Isparta (my special blend). I thought about my day and how scents are such a powerful reminder for me. Scents help remind me of home and loved ones when I am so far away. They also are important in reminding me I am somewhere new and exciting, and they help me build new memories and connections.

My poor deviated septum :( December 1, 2008

I have heard of deviated septum’s before but I never though I would have one. On Saturday morning I woke up with intense jaw pain, but only on the right side. I thought I may have slept funny and it would go away. It did not but the Kızılay (Red Crescent) is closed on Sundays. When I made it there this morning, my friendly doctor looked in my ears and said they were OK. Then looked down my throat (which was also OK). And finally used  these crazy nostril openers to look up my nose. There he say a problem and asked me some questions. Do I have prolonged sinus infections?- YES!, do I wake up with a dry mouth?- usually, do I wake up at night suddenly?- sometimes, and do I wake up with a stuffy nose frequently when I am not ill?- yes! He said I have a deviated septum and require minor surgery to fix it now before it gets worse (in 5 years or so). Yikes! I have not really had surgery before (other than wisdom teeth and a bone spur on my foot). I asked what this had to do my jaw pain. He said that the deviated septum was causing stress to my body and making me clench my jaw. It makes sense that this would be a cause of stress that I was not aware of since I am really not stressed in my day to day life. Any who, I will hopefully get a second opinion this week and give you all an update as soon as I know the final verdict. Most likely my school will pay for it which is great and a relief. No worries though . I have been given a prescription of no gum, soft foods and soup, and a light pain pill for a couple weeks. Other than that, all is well and I will write again when I have some good news

A deviated septum, but not MY deviated septum